Wednesday, April 28, 2010

rule 31

Today has been a pretty darn good day; so I will only focus on good things.

*Though I am still all nasty at least it looks like the infection is clearing up. I'm hoping that it won't turn into bronchitis.

*I have totally lost my voice. Wash showed me the "Speech" program on Anders today; I was "talking" like Stephen Hawking all day. It was quite awesome.

*We had pancakes

*He did the garden watering today

*Finally got the time to see "Monsters v. Aliens" today too- funny movie and quite impressive graphics.

*Date Night! - almost always cheaper weekdays- Did the movie "Book of Kells" over at our local small indie theatre. It was moving and wonderful and I so need to get it when it comes out on DVD.

*Also re: above, he shaved!!!! The winter beard is gone and he is back to having a Van Dyke - I've missed seeing his cheeks/face. More to kiss.

*He was smiling a lot today. That means the world to me.

*We're watching "Hamlet" on PBS together as well. Great end of the day. He's my best friend. I love spending time with him.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I realize I haven't even posted the funny thing from last week; chemobrained.
So, since the weather has been warm and nice we've been hanging the clothes out back to dry. I came out to take down a load he had hung up to find nestled in with his socks was one of my flip flops.
Hanging from the clothesline.

He doesn't remember doing it. Then again, he often forgets short term memories, lately that's become the big problem.

He's cleaning up downstairs tonight, going through his Warhammer 40K boxes, and I keep hearing shouts of joy from him;
He doesn't remember packing them away from the summer and last move. He forgot all that he actually has to work with.
"It's like Christmas over and over!"
He also gets joy from seeing movies we watched last year; he doesn't remember many.
Makes it fun for me sometimes... I know what's going to happen and he doesn't remember the killer.

"Why is Altzheimers' so social and fun?
You meet plenty of new people every day!"


*Wash had his 2nd interview with NBC and our local affiliate last night. Prolly more today

*I am sick (not like, gallbladder explodey sick) for the first time since Wash came home. It sucks. Flu or a really severe sinus infection. Mucous Girl! da daa da daaaaaa!

*As such sickness, I did not get my new row of carrots planted this weekend or any new flowers for the back. poop again.

*I've had no voice going on two days now. Really sucks, cause gLee! is on tonight.

*Working less/more at home now. Trying to transition down to (less)10 hours/week or working totally from home. Wash really has become a 30 hour a day job. I'm very afraid to leave him alone. His short term memory is just so bad he can't remember the stuff he needs to do to live; pills, eating right, showering, shaving, clean clothes etc. He can put together a huge model army still; but ask him a direct question or to do two separate things and his brain injury becomes noticeable.

*I still love him. A lot.

*Enough to make getting him on a trip to DisneyWorld (never been either of us) as my next WashProject.

*Other news? Ok, our microwave broke. And my ***** has not spoken to me in almost 3 weeks.
Apparently I still owe an apology for getting sick (gallbladder exploded. not pleasant) at dinner.
Sigh, whut?
I can't deal with the drama. Frak it. I have myself and Wash to take care of and frankly that's all I can do. I can't 'manage' *****.
But, alas, I live in a crazy '***** has her own reality' life. And one day maybe I will accept the ditching me/pushing me away in my greatest time of need. But right now?
I just have to keep my husband alive.

*also, frak the neo-nazi Pierce and his pos SB1070. Can't move due to Wash. Can't stay due to politics and gross human rights violations.
I'm also way too much on cold pills to try and articulate myself right now. S'about it.

Monday, April 26, 2010


been mostly sick lately. stupid cold.
s'about it for now.

Friday, April 9, 2010

13 to LIFE

Oh, why do families have to be so stupid?

Why am I, at 23, expected to be more mature and 'grown up' than a 60 year old?

Just all sucks.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

If I

I spent about 45 mins or so reading back through our first letters and such to each other. All the way from our first date to the first time we both said "I love you."

I remember so much. There was so much good, and light, and love.
And I still have him.

Going to enjoy the warmth he gives me.